9 Funny Advantages of having an Ostomy Bag

Having an Ostomy Bag is a life changing experience – but it doesn’t have to change you. Yes you need to learn to adjust to a new routine, yes you may need to change certain aspects of your life to keep yourself comfortable, such as eating habits or a change in exercise routine; but it doesn’t need to take over your life. You don’t have to let it!

Some days I wake up struggling to find the positives in the bag, no matter how small. Some days I want to hide under my duvet and cry. Today is not one of those days. I mean, what’s the point? I’ve already endured a horrible illness, I’ve already gone through such traumatic surgery and I’ve already had so much strain on my body. Why put it through more?

Below is a list of some of the funniest advantages of having an Ileostomy Bag! Yes some are a little silly… but they’re true!

  1. Ironically, you have more control over your bowels. No more running to the toilet every 2 minutes, terrified of publicly embarrassing yourself. Your bag saves you time. (Hopefully a lot of it).
  2. You can get away with eating a little more junk food and not feeling guilty about it! We deserve that bar of chocolate!
  3. You don’t have to worry about accidentally blocking the toilet at a friends house. Nope. Never going to happen.
  4. You save money on loo-roll! (Yeah… that surgery really was worth it for the cut on loo roll).
  5. Your ass hole will forever be gleamingly clean. You will literally have the perfect ass hole. Even if it doesn’t work.
  6. You always have an excuse to avoid those awful family gatherings and nobody can say otherwise. “Sorry, would’ve loved too, but my bags not having a good day”.
  7. In fact, you can practically cancel on anything with that excuse. Duvet days with tubs of ice cream are worth it. Until your bag hates you for all that dairy.
  8. You gain a friend! Everyone names their bag right? It sort of becomes, a part of you… Like, are you going to ask Nelson what he thinks of your dress too or?
  9. You could be being hit on by someone at a club or on a romantic date, and going to the toilet at the same time. They’ll never know. What a hilariously sly little devil you are.

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