What Happens When You Go To Thorpe Park… With An Ileostomy Bag?

So it’s been 6 weeks since my Ileostomy Surgery, and my friend thought it would be a fantastic idea to go to Thorpe Park. Of course, I agreed. So today, we got up at 8am, rushed to get ready and set off for a day on the roller coasters. We spent the journey singing along to Frozen and Glee like everyone obviously does and didn’t really acknowledge the fact that this could quite possibly be a really bad idea. I mean, we did question the fact that my bag could quite possibly explode and I could really quite hurt myself but yknow what, I was so up for a good day out with my best friend that I just didn’t care. photo 1(4)

I had decided to pad myself up a bit that morning, so wore 3 layers and a denim jacket, with some high waisted stretchy shorts. As you can imagine, it wasn’t very busy as it was a week day, meaning we didn’t have to queue for anything for more than 5 minutes. I’m not sure whether this was a good or bad thing as we did slightly over do it on some of the rides…

The first ride we went on was Nemesis. This ride turns you up side down, spins you around basically makes you want to throw up. It really hurt my scar (it’s still healing). I went on it 3 times. It was fantastic. And no, my bag didn’t explode.

IMG_1307The next ride was Collosus. I kept telling Sophie I loved this ride. It was my favourite ride. It really wasn’t. I was really wrong. It killed my head. Not my stomach though! We didn’t go on it again. But again, still got my bag safely intact…

It was only 11am by this time, we really did manage to get on things so quickly. So we decided to try Swarm. We’d made the decision to try rides with an overhead bar instead of a lap one, so I wasn’t at risk of hitting my stoma. Swarm was by far our favourite ride. You’re brought so high up, and then it just twists you down, facing the ground, before spinning you round throughout the track. We screamed so loud I’m sure the people next to us probably left the park half deaf. They probably hated us for our choice of language too.

photo 3(1)We then went back to Nemesis before heading off for an early lunch. Even though I’m not on my steroids anymore, I’m still hungry as ever.. kind of sad I don’t have an excuse for being fat anymore though! Of course I went out and ordered a jumbo hot dog and fries, and of course I felt ridiculously sick after wards. So like any normal person recovering from surgery, feeling sick, with a half full bag on her stomach, we went back to Swarm! It was so dead by this time we managed to queue jump again and again and went on 4 times within the space of half an hour – twice backwards! After leaving swarm I did have to rush to the toilets. I’d stupidly forgotten my radar key (key to disabled toilet) and didn’t want to pay to hire one so used the public ladies. I didn’t mind so much as it was so quiet, not sure I would’ve been so confident on a busy day though.

IMG_1308All cleaned up, we wondered off for Stealth. This was a pretty interesting walk too, as some complete arsehole decided to shout after me “excuse me?!” over and over again. I turned around to see what he wanted, and he asked, quite rudely, “are you wearing anything under that?” and pointed at my baggy jumper. I was wearing high waisted shorts. I know you wouldn’t normally wear this to Thorpe Park, but they’re the only comfy things I own at the moment, that manage to support my bag! Of course, it angered me, and kind of upset me, as he said it so loudly and so publicly, and people passing by stopped and stared. I was publicly embarrassed for something I wasn’t even aware of, never mind my bag! I didn’t say much back, I just mumbled “they’re the only things I can wear right now”. I really wish I’d stood up for myself. And I can’t help but think, if I was physically disabled and obviously only able to wear these clothes would you have pointed it out in front of a group of strangers? I was upset and paranoid, I felt like everyone was staring at me. But I decided I couldn’t let one silly guy ruin my day, I deserved a good day out after everything!

photo(1)We got to Stealth and waited 20 minutes before going on. This one I was a little anxious about, as I didn’t know if the speed would put added pressure on my stomach. But of course, it was fine. I’d managed to go on so many rides with no issue, so I was feeling pretty confident with my bag.

Note to self – never be too confident with anything. We went on Rush next, a big swing that just gives you a lap bar. The attendant wasn’t aware of my situation, and I hadn’t told him, so pushed the bar into my lap so hard. It was excruciatingly painful. I screamed “FUUUUUUCK” without realising, and had a whole crowd of people looking at me and laughing. It didn’t stop there either, as I felt so unsecured whilst on the ride, I ended up grabbing some random guy next to me and screaming at him “I”M NOT LETTING GO OF YOU”. He wasn’t impressed.
After that ride I was pretty tired out. I think there’s only so much you can do. We sat for an hour and had coffee, trying to settle my stomach. But I ended up just feeling too achy to do much more. We did Swarm one more time because it seemed to be the easiest ride on my stomach, and left around 3.30pm.

photo 2So, as you can tell, it was a really, really good day. The staff were so lovely and so helpful (the one’s I remembered to tell about the situation) and I was able to go on pretty much anything. My bag behaved all day and the only aches I’m feeling are the ones telling me I had too much fun! I’m so proud of myself for doing this, because I’ve just proved to myself I’m capable of doing anything – and so early too!

Oh, and in answer to the question, what happens when you go to Thorpe Park with an ileostomy bag? Nothing. Fucking nothing. Sorry to disappoint!


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