It’s important to remember from time to time that we are all only human. We all have feelings and endure a series of emotions with which we may choose to express or hide. Things can effect us deeply no matter how big or small that thing may seem to another person. Physically, mentally or emotionally – things can become such a huge part of you and manage to eat you up from the inside before you get a chance to tell yourself it’s okay.
I’m not sure if I’m writing this post more for myself or other people in my situation, but either way I think it’ll make things easier in the long run. Something to revert back to when I’m having a bad day. I haven’t had many bad days so far, but when I do, they swallow me up and spit me back out again, leaving me feeling defeated.
So, the aim of this post is to pick myself back up again. And remind myself of a few things…
1. It is okay to get upset.
Everyone gets upset from time to time. If you feel you need to, cry it all out. Get it all out of your system, and start a fresh tomorrow.
2. Breakdowns signify strength.
Breakdowns are you finally accepting your feelings, and actually releasing everything you feel from within – everything you so desperately tried to stop escaping. By doing this, you are facing your emotions. Think of a break down as break through.
3. You have something that makes you different, uniqueness is beautiful
Sure, it may not be something you’ve always wanted, but if it became the norm, would it bug you so much? You have something that not everyone in this world has. Doesn’t that make you a little more interesting? You have an amazing story to tell. Tell it.
4. It may have been a life changing experience – but it doesn’t have to change you.
Being given a stoma means learning new things, being a little more careful, accepting certain changes to your lifestyle. But that’s it. It doesn’t have to change the person you are, so don’t let it.
5. Your stoma saved you
No matter how you feel about your stoma right now, always remember it’s given you a better way of life. In fact, it’s given you life. Your stoma saved you.
6. You are still able to live your life the same as anyone else
Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re any less just because you may have to pack a few more things, or take a few more toilet breaks. And yeah, somethings may take you twice as long. But it doesn’t mean you can’t do it twice as good.
7. There are always going to be people who don’t understand, forgive them.. teach them
Some people just don’t get it. And maybe they never will get it. But it doesn’t mean they’re not willing to learn. Just because somebody hasn’t experienced it, doesn’t mean you have to create a barrier between you. Talk to them, help them understand, help them become more accepting of how the human body differentiates.
8. People that don’t accept it, don’t accept you. And you don’t have to accept that.
Of course, there are going to be people that don’t want to take the time to understand. And there are those people that will always just be a little narrow minded. Fuck them. If something so insignificant effects their state of mine, and they can’t take the time to get to know you, for YOU – they don’t matter!
9. You are strong
You have been through a massively traumatic experience, never forget the fight you once faced – never forget the strength you hold.
10. Smile – you have a reason to!
And finally, please just smile! If you’re having a bad day and wishing your stoma away, stop! Would you really want rid of it if it meant going back to the days spent on the toilet in pain? Or spending your days in and out of the hospital? Think about that. This is just one tiny part of you, and it’s a tiny part of you that means you can still be here. So smile about that.