The Hardest Part Of My Recovery So Far

It’s funny really. There’s been so much I’ve spoken about on my blog, so many personal details, experiences, my most intimate moments and my most vulnerable. But nothing seemed as hard as filming this video did. I’m not sure if that’s because I find writing easy, or just because I’m able to think about what I’m going to say before I put pen to paper. Or keys to screen in this case…

Screen Shot 2015-04-29 at 14.36.48Filming is completely different. It’s capturing you as a whole image, making you embrace vulnerability. I found it hard to talk on camera. Every time I tried I felt it didn’t do justice for the message I was trying to send. Every time I attempted to speak about my experience I started to cry. It’s hard. It’s hard to actually speak to someone about what happened. And I think that’s because once words leave your mouth, they become real. You can’t take them back.

This video shows exactly what I wanted it too. It shows difference being embraced with happiness. It shows honesty, and it represents truth. It doesn’t have to be your truth, but it’s mine.

I hope you enjoy this video. Please don’t hesitate to comment, like – & share!

7 thoughts on “The Hardest Part Of My Recovery So Far

  1. David says:

    wow, what an incredible blog and video. I came here because a friend also has a stoma and a blog; they linked in to this and I clicked across and I am blown away by the way you speak about this….particularly as you are only 4 months post-op. Keep strong and keep growing.


  2. Elisabeast says:

    i just want to die…I have since I woke up on the table in so much pain. I had surgery I wasn’t supposed to have…surgery without informed consent. They were supposed to drain pus. They destroyed me.


  3. Elisabeast says:

    You’re a very brave young lady. I’m dealing with this too because of getting sent home with an infection in my bowel without treatment. Then had surgery without consent…Glad it hasn’t destroyed you.


  4. Kate says:

    Great post. I think that it is that moment of coming to terms with the fact that the countless blood tests, drug tests, appointments and even surgery is to try give you freedom in the long run.

    I am a photographer/visual storyteller and it would be awesome to collaborate somehow and get more stories like yours told in a positive light and aggregate them all together. 🙂

    Best, Kate



  5. Olivia Retter says:

    This is a beautiful piece and filmed in an excellent way.

    Is there any way you could add subtitles to this clip because there are Deaf and Hard of Hearing people who are excluded from accessing such a beautifully made “from the heart” clip.

    Many thanks for your openness on such a difficult and extremely sensitive issue.


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