I Have Some Really Exciting News For My Blog!!!

If you haven’t already guessed by the new banner on my blog, I’m so excited to tell you that I have a new sponsor! Alongside my wonderful sponsors SecuriCare and ClinMed, Comfizz are now in full support of my little blog!

I’m so so overjoyed to have another sponsor, especially one which offers so much to girls like me! I feel a lot of you reading will be over the moon to find Comfizz (if you haven’t already) as they have some absolutely amazing products for such little money!

Comfizz produce all sorts of things from underwear to waistband products for both men and women. So if you’re having trouble with support pants, what with them often flattening you in awful places, you should definitely have a look. I’m not just talking boring support pants either. I’ve struggled finding underwear I’ve felt confident wearing, until now, where I have actually seen what looks to be the most flattering, support thong!

Over the next few months I will be reviewing their products, both through writing and video, to give you an insight as to what they’re like. I will offer as much advice as much as I can, so feel free to send me a message if you feel you need to ask something before ordering!

I’ve noticed on a lot of other ostomy sites that their prices are pretty high. I was so shocked to see that some lovely support underwear were just £6! Not only this, but they also offer post surgery wear, and clothing for children, teens and adults – at all seriously good prices. I sometimes wore support pants before my surgery, because I was a little self concious of my body, so this site is recommended to everyone, not just those with ostomy! And, I mean it’s worth a look anyway, as you never know what you’ll find!

A little bit about them:

Comfizz was established in 1998 as a fashion garment producer moving into specialist sportswear in 2002. They were providing high performance garments which were breathable and fit like a second skin to give ultra comfort and total freedom of movement for athletes.Then in 2004 when a family member had stoma surgery, they worked together to use their expertise and access to performance fabrics to produce the most comfortable, functional support wear.

Thanks to Comfizz origins in clothing and high performance garments they are in a very strong position to provide the best most innovative medical support wear. Understanding athletes needs as well as patients, they’ve been able to combine all of their experience into the product range so that you receive the elite benefits that athletes expect.

Here is just one of their £6 garments available, in a variety of colours:

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So, please go and take a look over on their site, and don’t hesitate to ask either of us any questions, I would love to answer any you may have!

www.comfizz.com

I’m Getting Nervous About Having To Make A Huge Decision…

On Friday I’m off to see my surgeon to talk about reversal surgery. I think Friday is the day where I’ll be needing to give him a decision as to what I want to do, seeing as my last appointment ended up with me walking away completley clueless as to what I want to do. I have a pretty good idea as to how I want it to go, but don’t want to write my hopes out just yet, just in case the appointment goes in the other direction. But I’m hoping for the best.. because to be honest I am quite bored of things going wrong now! (Really hoping I haven’t jinxed it!)

There’s still a lot of pros and cons to weigh out in my head, but hopefully the surgeon can give me a better idea… Google tends to make things seem a little bit more dramatic.

I need to remember though that all round, my health is what is most important. And I’m slightly worried I haven’t been putting my health first since my operation. There’s been a lot of stress and anxiety and there’s been times when I’ve thought “f*** it! I just need to have a good time!” and ignored the healthier option. I’ve also gained a couple of stone since my surgery, and I’m hoping that’s a good thing, and not an excessive problem. But only time can tell and I’ll let you all know how I get on on Friday. I just don’t want to speak to soon is all, for my mind to change – or for it to be changed for me.

Anyway, yesterday was my 20th birthday and it was such a great day. Thank you to everyone who wrote to wish me a happy birthday! I went out for dinner with my family, partner and family friends, before meeting some friends for drinks. I received such a wonderful present from my parents – tickets to the west end to see the new burlesque musical ‘Gypsy’ (i’m a little bit of a musical fanatic). And my boyfriend bought me a coffee machine, AND I AM SO EXCITED TO USE IT EVERY DAY AND PRETEND I AM A COOL SOPHISTICATED DRINKING MY POSH COFFEE WITH MY 2 CATS. (I can’t use it properly yet but it is a very adult present I must admit).

I loved this picture of me, my mumma and my lovely boyfriend Angelo!

I was really grateful to everyone who made an effort to make my day a special one yesterday, it was so lovely to be surrounded by people who mean the most to me. Even if I was sat there hating the fact I’ve entered into another decade. I actually cried 10 minutes before midnight too, telling Angelo “I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ADULT, I’M NOT READY!!!!”

11063720_1024868657570270_1529077837972177086_nThis is my wonderful little sister by the way, isn’t she gorgeous?!

But… I don’t think there ever is a ready point, is there? I’m becoming more and more certain that I’m always going to laugh at things I found funny at the age of 5…..

I think the biggest testament of adulthood is overcoming fears… such as heights…. which is why I’m going to be abseiling off of the tallest sculpture in London, in August, not only to scare myself silly but to raise money alongside my wonderful sponsors SecuriCare Medical & CliniMed for Bowel Cancer UK (please sponsor me!!!!).

Here is the sponsor link! https://www.justgiving.com/CliniMed-SecuriCare/

which is why I’m going to be abseiling off of the tallest sculpture in London, in August, not only to scare myself silly but to raise money alongside my wonderful sponsors SecuriCare Medical & CliniMed for Bowel Cancer UK (please sponsor me!!!!).

Here is the sponsor link! https://www.justgiving.com/CliniMed-SecuriCare/

10 Of The Strangest Things People Have Searched To Find My Blog

I’m bed bound today and I thought I’d spend some time blogging. One of the most interesting, and sometimes most hilariously shocking parts of blogging is reading through what people have typed into their search engine to come across your blog. Some of these searches I am seriously worried for…

This is only a little bit of fun for me and no names have been stated – and don’t worry, no names are ever actually available to me through the searches, everything has always come through anonymously!

But, I felt the need to share some of these with you. I’d love to see your reactions!

1. “Sugar mummies contact numbers”. Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 14.59.37

2. “How can I join those who do sex video?”
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3. “People having sex through the ostomy”
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4. “I have sex with bags”
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5. “Pics of gothic girls with stomas”
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6. “About life f****** me f****** stomach”
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7. “Can you do oral to your ostomy?”
Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 14.59.00Girl overwhelmed by Disneyland surprise, sister hilariously indifferent

8. “How can I bag myself without sexual intercourse?” Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 15.30.50

9. “Ileostomy person do sex?”
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And finally, please take a deep breath for this one and remember that everyone is different.

10. “If I cut my stoma off what would happen?”Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 14.58.31

I’m sorry I went a little bit over board on this one but I just… I just don’t know.

39 Things You Can Never Avoid Happening On A Night Out

I went out again for the first time in a while last night with some friends. It was an alright night, but I realised that you’re literally just repeating the same ritual every time you go out.

1. You spend ages getting ready only for your makeup to be ruined at most an hour into the night.

33 Things Guaranteed To Happen On Your Girls' Night Out

2. And then you’re in and out of the toilet trying to top up the lipstick that keeps being ruined by those plastic cups. But that becomes a bit of a task.

33 Things Guaranteed To Happen On Your Girls' Night Out

3. And whilst you’re in the toilet, you become best friends with every other drunk girl at the basins.

4. And you end up complimenting absolutely everything about each other even if you don’t mean it.

5. And you basically know each others life stories before leaving and completely forgetting the conversation you’ve just had.

6. Once you’ve left the toilets you’ve lost your friends.

7. And you spend the next half an hour just searching round and round the dance floor.

33 Things Guaranteed To Happen On Your Girls' Night Out

8. But every girl is in tight jeans or a dress and heels and it’s too dark to see their faces.

9. Once you finally find your friends you need to pee again because you broke the seal too early after just one drink.

10. So you end up spending another half an hour trying to find your friends.

11. And whilst doing so every drunk guy who see’s you on your own will attempt to pull you their way.

12. And you have to make up every excuse under the sun to leave.

13. You’ve told at least 10 guys you have a boyfriend, or are engaged, even if you don’t/aren’t.

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14. And then you see the same guy after your friend and end up being a third wheel.

Aaaaand he

15. You drink way too much way too early and have to spend half an hour outside before you can even think about dancing.

16. And once you finally do start dancing you’ve missed all the songs you know, and awkwardly mime along to the ones you don’t, trying not to spill your drink everywhere as you do.

33 Things Guaranteed To Happen On Your Girls' Night Out

17. You get way too into dancing and start to question if you’re doing it right.

18. And end up examining everyone else on the dance floor and realising you’re definitely not doing it right.

19. So you awkwardly carry on and look even more like a penguin than you did before.

20. Every drink order has to be repeated at least 3 times because you can’t hear a damn thing.

Thank you, 8 pounds 6 ounces newborn infant Jesus, for alcohol.

21. And once you do have a drink and are asked to pay you’re left thinking “HOW MUCH?!”

22. Before you know it you’ve spent all your money on shots and realise the only way you’re going to get more is talking to the guy next to you.

23. But by that time you’re too wasted to even stand up properly.

24. In fact you can never stand up properly in those stupid heels.

25. WHY DO WE WEAR THESE THINGS?! THEY JUST KILL OUR FEET!

26. But then we realise it’s okay because they make our legs look good.

27. But all that’s irrelevant because it’s nearly the end of the night and you just don’t look good.

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28. You decide to leave a little earlier to avoid the rush to the cloakrooms.

29. But apparently everyone else in the club has had the same idea.

30. You have barely any money left and need to get a taxi, but every taxi driver thinks they should be paid a million pounds for a 10 minute drive.

31. But it’s either a million pounds or sleep outside the club for the night.

32. A kebab or pizza or macdonalds is definitely on the menu though, so you have to stop for that first.

33. But that just makes you feel even more sick, and by the time you get to bed you’re one big bloated mess.

34. Everythings chucked on the floor as soon as you get in and you’re out until tomorrow afternoon.

35. You wake up feeling gross.

36. Suffocated by your friends who also just collapsed onto the bed.

37. And you have no money.

38. You tell yourself, “never again”.

Aaaand then your body revolts against you.

39. Until next Saturday, anyway.

Needed a change… So I Dyed My Hair Blonde!

I’m not sure which thing happened to prompt me into changing my look, whether it was my outburst of awful roots or sheer boredom – but either way I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out! I know it’s not in your face blonde, I chose a dark blonde, something a bit more subtle!

I decided last minute whilst in town that I wanted my natural hair colour back. Believe it or not – that’s blonde! I haven’t had natural looking hair in so long, even when I was younger I’d bleach it. It’s crazy how much a hair colour can change the way you look, and I haven’t felt this much like myself in such a long time! It’s scary, every time I look in the mirror I feel like I’m looking at my 12 year old self! Okay that sounded kinda weird..

I’ve probably damaged my hair for the foreseeable future with the amount of dye I had to use to get rid of the red, but luckily my hair’s very thick!

It’s strange how doing something such as dying your hair can make you feel so positive. It’s given me a new sense of confidence. Which is why I’ve decided to write about it on my blog today, not just to tell you what I’ve been up to but to demonstrate how the littlest things can make you feel better about yourself! I’m not saying anybody should change how they look to feel good about themselves. But if changing something about you makes you feel better about yourself, why not do it?!

I’m currently trying to make a change in myself, as well as my image. I want to be healthier in myself and more active. I’m going to be eating better and focusing on more exercise. I don’t think I have an excuse not to anymore!

I think I’ve come out of my depressive stage now, haha! I’m feeling a lot better and more ready to start working on new experiences to write about. I have some really exciting things coming up soon, and I just can’t wait to share them!

I just want to say a massive thank you to those that continue to read my blog. Sorry that this wasn’t really a topical blog post – but I just had to show off the product of 2 days wearing clingfilm on my head!

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What It’s Like To Have My Boyfriend Clean Me Up Every Day

If you read my previous blog post about having a bad week, you’ll know that recently I’ve been having some issues with my ostomy. So much so that it has been hard to rely on just myself to sort it out. Since I’ve been having trouble sizing it, alongside output problems, it has become a little more unreliable than before. Meaning that when I’m cleaning around the area, I never know when it’s going to be safe to leave it bare to place my ileostomy bag on. At the beginning of the week, it was a case of my boyfriend forcing his way into the bathroom because he could hear how upset I was getting. He would help no matter how frustrated and embarrassed I got. I mean… nobody wants their partners to have to help them clean you up, do they?! Now, it’s become the norm for him to come in with me when I go to change it every evening. He sets up all of the equipment, wets the towels, and helps sort me out.

He’s been great and made me feel a little more at ease with all the negativity that’s been sinking in these past weeks. And it’s nice having him there. It’s weird of course, I’m so used to doing it all myself. I do also feel very upset with the situation.. because it feels like I’ve lost control over the one thing I had control over. I mean, I have no control over my digestive system anymore. I can’t determine when something’s going to happen. Accepting help for the one part you’re meant to be okay with is the hardest part of all. Changing the bag was one thing that was down to me, my decision. And to have to rely on someone else for something so personal, feels a little undignified. I was worried he’d be put off me after seeing what he had.

I’m lucky to have somebody there to help me. And I do appreciate everything that he does. But I just wish he didn’t have to do that, and didn’t have to see me in such a way. But, that’s life. And I guess to get through these sorts of situations you have to feel uncomfortable to get comfortable.

I have had an order of uncut bags from SecuriCare which have already begun putting my skin at ease, so I’m hoping over the next few weeks I’m able to gain more control over my body and become a little more independent. I’m looking forward to being able to use the bathroom by myself for a change! I know I’m not a burden or anything but I can’t help feeling like one sometimes. I just hate to rely on people. Especially for something that should be so easy.

I hope I haven’t put off anyone who may be needing or is questioning having stoma. There has been a lot to thank it for over the past four months. But I do feel the need to write when I’m having a bad time. It’s quite therapeutic but I feel may also give people in my position something to relate to. It’s nice to have something to relate to, I think.

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I’ve Gained 2 Stone Since Surgery!

PicMonkey CollageThese pictures show me just after coming home from hospital and me now. It wasn’t until I compared these two pictures of my legs together that I realised just how much weight I’ve put on since surgery! I decided to use the pictures of my legs because they are where most weight has been put on, although I have put on around my stomach and face, also.

By no means am I posting these pictures to complain and call myself fat – I know I’m not – I was just shocked at the difference in just a few months. Of course, the first black and white photo shows me underweight and unhealthy. But I’m really hoping to not put on too much more weight. Although I started gaining from the steroids, I cannot blame them for this! I have been eating like a pig and not exercising at all. And I probably won’t exercise either, lets be honest. But I think I should probably start eating better. If I decide to have further surgery I’m going to need to be healthy enough.

Anyway, these pictures are also a little bit of a revolution for me. A couple of years ago, I would’ve cried at these pictures and used the black and white photo as an “aim” as I abused my body. Now, I can laugh it off and realise it’s just a little bit of weight. And that’s a great feeling… to be able to laugh off something I once feared. Although, I have always had a bit of trouble with losing weight. I hate dieting. And I’m rubbish at following any sort of meal plan. Also, I just cannot be bothered to spend the time counting calories etc. I want to be healthy and stay slim but I find it hard not to indulge in chocolate… on a nightly basis. But – I’m willing to stuff it back in the freezer if it makes my body feel better! I just don’t really want to be putting anymore weight on, not in such a short space of time.

So.. if any of you have any tips on how I can do so, please… let me know!

Please feel free to comment any healthy eating techniques that have worked for you!