Sex can be awkward for a number of reasons. Whether it’s because you’re self concious, unsure of yourself or even unsure of your person, certain aspects of sex can really make you feel uneasy. Stripping down to reveal your body or even just to your underwear, in itself can be a hell of a task. What will they think of me? Will they dislike me? And when you have an ostomy bag like myself, it can be awkward for a whole lot of reasons which aren’t just revolved around body confidence. Sudden movements can cause the ostomy bag to move around a lot, making you feel embarrassed and insecure. Feeling like you should apologise for something you can’t help. Going on top can be a bit of an issue because the position causes the most movement to the bag itself, meaning it can pull a little on your stomach and be quite painful. Going on bottom can also be a little difficult, because of the pressure the other person is likely to put on you. And lying on your front? The pulling of the bag and pressure of your own body weight (all of your body weight) can cause the bag to pancake (leak) or pull again, uncomfortably. Alongside the physical discomfort, it can also be a little mentally draining. The fear of a leaky bag, the worry of the rustling sound. It might be better to just avoid sex at all.
Or so I thought, until I found something that has taken all of my troubles away. I was given this amazing waist band. It’s nude, and sometimes I actually just wear it because it is so camouflaged amongst my skin that in the right lighting it can look like I don’t even have my bag anymore. Not that I despise my body with it, but sometimes I just miss my old, flatter tummy. The weight I’ve put on recently has done a little damage to my self esteem. The waist band holds in that unwanted flab and gives me a silhouette that makes me feel confident. It makes me feel like my old self. I can’t explain it. It keeps my body smooth and hides my bag completely, yet it doesn’t feel too tight. It’s comfortable to wear whilst also preventing leaks – a great thing to be sure of when wanting to be intimate.
Wearing this waist band for the first time during sex I felt like a different person. Sure, I’ve had sex since my surgery but this felt different. I felt at ease. I wasn’t partially focusing on my stomach for once. I wasn’t fearing what he thought when I was in my most blatantly vulnerable state. I felt down to my stomach and I felt nothing but flatness. Smoothness. There was no rustling, no unwanted movement. No pulling, no pain. There are small strips of silicone which help to keep the waistband in place – meaning in no way shape or form can it become an inconvenience during intimacy – or day to day activities for that matter.
The waistband itself has more than one function:
Intimacy – it discretely hides the surgical site or ostomy.
Changing room privacy – Feel comfortable and confident when out shopping with friends, trying on new clothes or getting changed with others.
Swimming – Can be worn under conventional swimwear to secure everything in place.
Overnight – Sleep sound and secure with the waistband keeping everything in place.
Sports – Keeps your appliance secure and prevents it moving about during activities
It can also be combined with boxers or briefs, i.e. used as a body slip shaper.
They are £10 and available on prescription, in a variety of sizes:
S / M
M / L
L / XL
XL / 2XL
2XL / 3XL
The waistband can be found here: http://comfizz.com/products/ostomy/level1/ladies/10waistband-neutral-silicone.html#productDescription
I would high recommend if you are struggling at all with intimacy. It has truly helped me regain my confidence in the bedroom.